Depression is real.
Anxiety is real too.
I believe 100% in these ridiculous attacks people suffer with, because I have suffered through them too.
I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and hate everything you have become and feel so full of shame. I also know what it’s like to feel the whole world has gone to chaos and the intense feeling that time is slipping through my hands like quick sand. That moment the air seems so thick and the thoughts in your mind are racing themselves into a crazy web. You just want it all to STOP. If you could just turn off your brain for awhile and tell your heart to take a vacation from pain.
Trust me, it’s real. I’ve been there. I’ve wanted to kill myself, I’ve wanted to crash my car into a telephone pole to just escape the cloud of darkness I felt hovering me. There was always this intense feeling of wanting more out of life but feeling totally incapable of reaching all those lofty thoughts.
I would have moments of happiness, fleeting ones. And the stress, anger, pain, and suffocating would be back at my door. I would welcome it again. There’s a song that goes,”Hello Darkness ,my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you again.” I literally lived that lyric. I was deceived into believing this “darkness”, my anxiety and depression, was just “who I am.” I was tricked into believing that I had no power to take hold of my thoughts or emotions. I didn’t know why I felt everything so deeply, and I felt it almost as a curse.
But my friend, if you have taken the time to read this far, don’t let yourself fall prey to that lie. There is a real darkness that is totally happy to let you keep believing you have no power. Though you can’t see it does not mean it’s not real. We reside in an earthly realm, but right here in our midst is also a spiritual realm.
We have been uniquely created, wired to think, feel, and be certain ways. I am a person that feels things deeply but it doesn’t have to wreak havoc on me. God made me this way to show compassion and mercy on others, not to feel like dying. Without Jesus, it’s literally hopeless. You can’t see the puZzle pieces fit together without him. He is that one piece that is missing. You have wrote it off as this is my life but he says I have come to give you life in ABUNDANCE. His spirit wants to come make a home in your heart and make all things new. I do have power over my emotions because I worship a God who cares deeply about me. He is the greatest lover I’ve ever known. I am capable because He is capable. His Holy Spirit is our helper. It is so real, so tangible.
So stop believing the lie that this is just who you are because it’s just not. There is freedom from the darkness and it will only come from Jesus. And knowing your created value and identity in him. He loves you so crazy, and has a plan for your life. But he won’t force it on you, he has given you the choice to love him. Are you ready for the wildest adventure ever, jump in deep to his presence. He will not disappoint.
Here’s a prayer if you want to give your life to him, believe with your heart and confess this now:
“God, thank you for sending your son to die for me. I believe that Jesus is the son of God and that he died on the cross and rose again to set me completely free. Jesus I ask you to come make your home in my heart and I surrender my whole life to you. I cannot do this without you. Show me your love. I want to know you. I repent of the ways that I have been living. Wash out my past completely. Help me live a life of abundance.”
Get yourself the word of God. The bible. Feed on it as food. It will be your spiritual food and is the place where your mind will be renewed. We need it on a daily basis to renew our minds. Holy Spirit will speak to you through the word and also just speak in general. Jesus said Holy Spirit is our helper. Ask God to fill you with his Holy Spirit, to baptize you with his fire. Whatever you ask according to the will of God, you receive!!!