I grew up in the church, learned about how to live a life free from sin, but never really learned what a true relationship with Jesus, God, and Holy Spirit looked like. I didn’t have a firm foundation but I knew in my heart it was truth.
My freshmen year of highschool, my brother was murdered 6 days after my 15th birthday. I already was not living the life God called me to live and this event sent me down a hill of destruction.
I completely isolated myself from friends and met a person that said smoking weed would be helpful. I felt so much pain, I wanted to feel anything but the gaping hole in my heart.
I smoked weed everyday, almost every hour, no exaggeration. I hid it from my parents for a long time. Smoking weed made me forget real life and I was living in my own fantasy. I didnt have to think. I didnt have to feel. I didnt have to sort through my pain. I just smoked until I didn’t feel it anymore, even though it was always there buried under the surface.
I hid behind my makeup, behind my sports, behind almost everything. I was a national honors society student, I was actively involved in sports, I even took college courses during highschool. From the outside people may have seen success, but on the inside I was dying. My spirit was so desperate for something to hope in. For true freedom.
I loved the idea of hippies, of finding peace within yourself. I was so drawn to the idea of peace. It was my favorite thing. But I was soooo far from TRUE peace, which only comes from a love relationship with our King Jesus.
After high school things got progressively worse. Not only was I smoking weed everyday, but now I was drinking every weekend and got into harder drugs like cocaine and pills. My life was a cycle of constant regret, shame, bitterness, and emptiness.
In the midst of it all, Jesus still found me. During one of Jory’s family campouts I saw what joy, peace, and love looked like that comes from a love relationship with Jesus. I witnessed a family so full of love for one another and I knew I had gotten it all wrong.
He continued to speak to me, call out to me, Jory and I went through a lot of pain. But God has redeemed it all. He truly is a restorer. I was told I would end up just like my brother for years . . . That didn’t help, but Jesus. He is my helper, my deliverer, my strong tower.
I am not sure where I am going with this, but that’s alittle piece of my story. I just wanted to encourage someone today that life is more than the weekend party, then drinking your life away, trying to feel nothing at all. There is someone who has come so that you may have
He is so real, he is alive, and he is in love with who you are. He has come to set us free, I don’t know where you are at today but if you can relate to my story and want to talk.
Please reach out to me!!! I’d love to hear your story, your pain, and cry if you need someone to cry with. Or laugh if you feel like laughing. Just know that you are never alone. And you are so LOVED. ♡