Ramblings of Desire

I don’t feel like writing because my brain is in overdrive but I’m pushing through the resistance. I am choosing to push through because I know writing clears my mind, it helps me process, and it is a gift that Lord is creating in me for his purpose. 

So here I am writing, even though I don’t know what words to say or what thoughts to think. But I know my God is right here with me. And that’s what helps me break through the sludge. 

I guess this blog could be titled, “Peace and Unity” 

1. I am seeking for his peace to invade my mess of a mind. 

2. My pursuit of unity, not only in my marriage, but with God is number one on my mind for like this whole year. 

I don’t want superficial peace. I don’t want peace half way, and I don’t want temporary peace, the kind that leaves when my circumstances change. I want eternal peace. And that is what I get to have when I have unity with God. 

There is no way to have unity with God, and not have this kind of peace. If you don’t feel this kind of peace, you may need to check yourself and see if you’re in alignment with Gods heart. 

I don’t know why I am not like Todd White. I don’t know why I still struggle with the basic teachings of Christ. I don’t know why I’m not farther along than I  am now. I don’t know why I can’t say I haven’t been offended and have that be true. 

But I want that, and I know the only way to get to a place of unity with God, that never ends is through being in his word, renewing my mind daily, prayer, and walking in the new creation that I am. 

I am so thankful that Todd White calls us to more of God. That he walks with Jesus everyday of his life, with great boldness. And I eagerly desire to follow Christ like he does. 

And I know that God gives us the desires of our hearts. I desire to be a flame that never burns out. To be marked with his all-consuming fire, again and again. I desire to be a better witness, I desire to be a better friend, I desire to be a better person. I desire to do even greater things than Jesus did. I want to be a worshipping warrior bride, singing prophetic songs that break chains and release freedom. I want to live everyday of my life in the knowledge of Him. I want to always be aware of his love for me.

 I desire to be a fool for Christ. 

I desire boldness that comes with a pure heart. I desire the more of God all the days of my life. I desire that when people encounter me they would ask what must they do to be saved. I desire love to flow like rivers out of my heart. 

I desire to know the Father so, so, so intametly, better than I know my own husband. 

I desire this unity God. 

Let it be so. 


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