Beauty in the mess

It has been awhile since I last wrote a blog update. If I could describe the last few months of my life in one word it would be the word growth. 

 This blog is for inspiring and encouraging others to live their lives in God. And I have always wanted to be transparent in my walk. The good, the bad, the ugly. Because our definition of messy can sometimes be God’s definition of order. 

I read something once that talked about giving birth and how it is extremely messy. But it is what God calls good and orderly. 

So it made me think about the season I am currently walking in and how this season is not “bad” but that it is actually good. You see, I have been beating myself up and have also been ashamed of the struggles that are happening on the inside of me. I thought I was less of a lover of Christ because of the struggling in my mind. 

Waves of anxiety have marked this season of my life and I know that none of it is from God. I also felt ashamed to even stand in front of my fellow friends because I felt less for what was going on in the inside of me. In this season of pruning I have felt so disconnected and discouraged. I am learning that my feelings are not always truth and that no matter how far I feel from God, that he is literally right here with me. 

He is smiling over me in joy at the growth that has taken place in the midst of tearing down strongholds and lies. He has been birthing truth inside. The birthing season is full of pressure, messes, and intense emotions. But how beautiful when that precious little baby is born? 

How beautiful it will be when the seeds the Lord has been placing inside me are birthed and forged in my spirit? Like a caterpillar in a cocoon, have I been in this season, and just like a caterpillar I am becoming a beautiful butterfly. 

This season of growth has been extremely hard but I have pressed in with steadfastness. It is true that the cost of following Jesus is high, there are many things we have to lay down and sacrifice. 

But the glory of his wonderful love outweighs it all. It is a high cost but the price he paid so much higher and greater. He paid in blood for us to be set completely free and to live a life of love with God. He was beaten, whipped, pierced and murdered on the cross because he loved us so much. He looked into the future and saw each one of us and said the price to pay was worth it. 

The death of Jesus was messy and God called that order, called that beauty. We have been thinking all along that messy means shame but I urge you to think with the mind of Christ and ask God for his perspective in your situation. What looks messy could just be the light at the end of the tunnel. Could just be your season of receiving wings. Could just be your season of becoming. 

So dear ones, would you throw off your shame. Take off your grave clothes, rejoice in the Lord for he Is Good! He is not scared of our anxiety or our pain, he is not scared of our fears or our failures, our questions and our doubts, in fact he is not scared of anything at all. His heart is on you, he just wants to be close with you and talk with you. He knows your hurting and wants to be the one to speak truth in the midst of confusion. Will you let him do just that? 

I encourage you if you have been in a season of chaos to say this out loud: 

Jesus, thankyou for your sacrifice on the cross, and that you chose me from the beginning of time and continue to do so.  I throw off my ___________ (for me it was shame/anxiety) and take off the clothes I’ve been wearing that have entangled me in lies about my identity. Lord I put on my dress of righteousness and I’m crying out to you. I speak to chaos and say be gone right now in the name of Jesus. Restore now peace, joy, truth and love in my life. I speak to my eyes and my ears and I say be open to the Holy Spirit. While you chose me first, I will continue to keep choosing you even when it is hard. I choose you. I thank you for giving me the mind of Christ. I thank you that the process is good. I will say again, the process is good.” 


If you have never given your life to Christ I urge you to consider allowing him to make something beautiful out of your mess too! 

If you want to give your life to him it is all about following him. It’s not just a prayer but a life surrendered to Jesus. He wants to breathe new life in you!!! 

Here’s a prayer if you want to give your life to him, believe with your heart and confess this now: 

“God, thank you for sending your son to die for me. I believe that Jesus is the son of God and that he died on the cross and rose again to set me completely free. Jesus I ask you to come make your home in my heart and I surrender my whole life to you. I cannot do this without you. Show me your love. I want to know you. I repent of the ways that I have been living. Wash out my past completely. Help me live a life of abundance.”

Get yourself the word of God. The bible. Feed on it as food. It will be your spiritual food and is the place where your mind will be renewed. We need it often to renew our minds. Holy Spirit will speak to you through the word and also just speak in general. Jesus said Holy Spirit is our helper. Ask God to fill you with his Holy Spirit, to baptize you with his fire. Whatever you ask according to the will of God, you receive!!!


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