I want to know


There are many questions I have, with answers left untold. 

Many pondering thoughts, left unspoken.

Many fears inside that pull and that hold.

They hold me in a frozen position,

Though you see me from the outside. 

On the inside I’m a statue, made of stone. 

These thoughts have lingered quite sometime,

At first I didn’t know they were big, 

But then I realized.

So here I am frozen by fear, 

My heart is still beating ,

Screaming for God to draw near. 

I’ve been frozen for a few months now, The answers,

They are the key,

They will help me to let go.

I tried to bury the questions burning in my soul,

I had a thought that said, what a bad Christian,

One who can’t be happy with the mystery.

Oh, you bad Christian, one who can’t rest in the goodness that you’ve seen.

How can you question God when you’ve seen his grace, when you’ve looked him face to face. 

You are such a disgrace. 

So I grabbed a shovel and started moving the ground, 

I grabbed those questions and through them deep down. 

I sighed at the relief, finally they were buried deep. 

Now, I won’t have to ever hear them speak. 

But then one morning,

They returned, the questions I thought were buried deep enough, 

They surfaced from the storms.

I stood there, frozen, broken, a mess,

But I still believed in His faithfulness.

So I took my focus off the questioning and placed it in his eyes. 

It was then I realized,

He is strong enough to break through the lies,

I am weak and He is able.

All theses lies and questions,

He will show himself faithful.

I am in this process,

I don’t have to fear the outcome,

I know that he will show.

He will bear the truth,

In Just the right time.

His loving eyes will meet mine,

And it  will be there, that my heart melts into pure gold, that he has refined. 

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